A Damn Dirty Grey Review

They took his daughter and now the wolves took down his plane! Liam Neeson is back to kick some more ass in "The Grey" In theaters now so go see it! Plus we liked it a lot, check out this sexy review

Bringing Saxon Back

These last couple of days have been insanely cold in El Paso...And that could mean one of two things;

1.) We listen to Immortal

Yeaaaaaaaaaaah

or

2.) Or we listen toVIKING METAL

Metal as FUCK

As much as I love Abbath and company, I can't help but give my own shitty opinion on an amazing album. Alex here with a new installment of "Bands that Alex likes on ice in 3-D", offering you one of the best eargasms out there today; Moonsorrow's 2001 "Voimasta Ja Kunniasta" (Strength and Honor)

This album has no real story, nor is it a concept album. Its just "FUCK YEAH WARRIORS" all over. Moonsorrow gets to mix Viking/and Folk metal all into an orgy of sound that just brings you right in. Being from Finland I bet they just go outside and get inspired

Inspiration

The album begins with a soothing instrumental composed of a medley of keyboards/piano "Tyven" (Calm), a fitting introduction to something that is about to make you grow a beard and wield a battle ax. "Tyven" is then quickly transmitted towards another song "Sankarihauta"(Soldier's Grave) Story; A village in ruins, a man sees destruction and his family killed, anger so awesome beyond the comprehension of mortal man wells inside him.

(Gonna make an educated guess, but his is probably the last thing he saw)

He finds the army, tells them to "COME AT ME BRO" and proceeds to kill all but a few so they can tell the tale...Which is probably the best story of revenge ever told. The music itself is worthy of this song, the woeful/angry sounding vocals just fit in so well you can just feel the rage well up inside you. This is the kind of shit you want playing during times of intensity.....And it is just the beginning.

Track number Three is "Kylän Päässä" (A Village Away) This song....Guys, this song. "Kylän Päässä" tells the story of two foolish brothers who just have fallen prey to the lust of war and pride, not understanding the art that comes with it; it is a duty, not fun. The intensity in this song comes from all over, this is like four different songs packed into one, blending together perfectly into what could only be product of Valhalla itself ...... Your body was never ready.

Track number Four and Five are also in the list of positive things have to say, but it would make this post TL;DR more than it already is. Track Four "Hiidenpelto / Häpeän Hiljaiset Vedet"(Devil's Feild/Silent Waters of Infamy) and Track Five "Aurinko ja Kuu"(The Sun and The Moon ...Pssst Listen to them

As much as it pains me to say this word....All of these songs are. Epic...And they are, if epic wasn't so overused for stupid bullshit, if you looked for epic on the dictionary, one would find Moonsorrow as the definition.

The last song in the album "Sankaritarina"(The Story of a Hero) Is a beautiful, melancholy, 13 minute farewell. Saying goodbye to a good man and warrior is never easy, but in this world of battles it is an unavoidable risk, but knowing that one day we will all be reunited in the majestic halls of Valhalla makes it all the better. The last six minutes is what gets you the most the sorrow, sadness, the "Son I am proud" feeling that just oozes out of it. Then it fades out with a slowed down excerpt of "Tyven" and wind; feeling like the whole album was a lucid dream about to get lost in the breeze.

This journey is filled with war, treachery, loss, victory, folklore. Add Intense guitars, blasting drums, funky ass basslines,traditional folk instruments and why the fuck not some catchy as fuck keyboards and we get this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV0Ef1RHshg

(Which is my favorite song of all time)

And for only Six songs this ain't too shabby.

This record can be bought on the internet....Unless you have a cool ass record store near you that has a wide variety of music.

Until next time. See ya' Little Duckies

The Damn Dirty Apes - Frank N' Con 2011

Wrapping up our coverage of Frank N' Con are Cris, Alex, and PJ, the Damn Dirty Apes, who we've let loose on the con to jest with cosplayers, chat with the El Paso Ghostbusters, and admire the craftsmanship of one of our many local indy filmmakers.

Journey into Mystery #629-#630

Oh hey there feeble Midgardians , tis’ another time for one of Alex’s dumb ass reviews. Today we will have a gander at the most recent issues of the ongoing series Journey into Mystery 629 and 630. The first of the two this is all I have to say…..The art gave it no justice, it was very uneventful art wise (which is my opinion don’t dispute it)

Kieron Gillen wrote this issue and the art was done by Whilce Portacio….Remember my last review? Well Loki did it! His rag tag team was successful in helping to bring down the serpent, in the most bad ass way possible too. Also remember when I said he stole the shadow of Surtur’s sword? Well they made a deal at that time, If Loki can use the sword, Surtur would be freed (keep that in mind). Loki and his team (Loki’s Magic Secret Action Squad as he called it) Snuck into Dark Asgard aka the giant floating island of evil. Loki then proceeds to release Surtur into the bowels of Dark Asgard where he would consume the energy of the isle (damn Loki will you ever stop being so magnificent?).

As they get out of the island, Loki watches to his dismay that the prophecy has come true, Thor has lost his life protecting Midgard (not without making the Serpent his bitch first) .

The whole plan was just wishful thinking, Loki just wanted to try out the WTF plan just in case it worked.

So with that Fear Itself (the main issues anyway) has winded down, but it is not exactly finished because there will be more tie ins than people go through toilet paper at a Mexican Restaurant. In Journey into Mystery 630 you will hear how Fear Itself has transpired…..Volstagg the voluminous’ version anyway (AWWWWWW SHIIIIT) And the art from Richard Elson just accompanies this so well, like an actual storybook!

Just in case you don’t know Volstagg, he is the portly (fat) one from the awesome trio that is The Warriors Three, essentially the coolest motherfucker around.

FUCK YEAH VOLSTAGG

Issue starts with Heimdall waking up to see the Destroyer armor outside as if no one took it (TOTALLY LEGIT GUYS). Then it cuts away to Loki and Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder, Thor’s mystical goats (that could totally kick your ass). Loki has a magic chain attached to them and he is luring the goats away from the roots of Yggdrasil as if pulling something from inside the tre- OH FUCK THERE IS SOME SORT OF HEAVY ASS ARMOR COMING OUT. When the goats finish the job Loki checks in the armor, who is in it you ask? MOTHERFUCKING VOLSTAGG . He and Loki were in cahoots to help Thor…..He was controlling THE FUCKING DESTROYER ARMOR! (It’s magic, I don’t gotta explain shit).Volstagg tells Loki he don’t want to see him anymore because he feels he helped Loki kill Thor (No, man NOOOO! It was for the greater good!). So with that he leaves Loki be.

This is when the story makes you DAWWWWW, Volstagg barges into his own house surprising his kids (who all pile on to him at once). He tells them to gather ‘round for he has a story for them (at this time you get your ass all sorts of comfortable). The way Volstagg sums up everything is like one of the best children’s stories ever and it’s filled with….You know when your dad/caretaker would do a self insert story and they would be all strong/brave/perfect? This story has just that

Notice how he is all buff and shit.

I mean you know how The Worthy all had hammers in Fear Itself? LOL Oh Volstagg you so crazy

Then the kids find out about Thor’s demise, but they take it so well;_; i mean they are sad that he is well, dead. But they know he fought to save everyone. This whole issue was really touching (again, my opinion) and while Volstagg’s story isn‘t completely canon it is a really fun read…..This issue has become one of my personal favorites artistically and story wise. I REALLY recommend Journey into Mystery #630, so get your ass into a comfortable fuckin’ couch and put dat Snuggie on and read this.

I'm a Drac - Wild Night Out

This is the last Mac Parody video for this season. It was a lot of fun to produce and we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

In this one, Drac and Zombie discuss what they do in their spare time. Sounds like fun.

In Memory of Steve Jobs.

I'm a Drac - Popularity

Augmented Reality Online Magazine presents Drac vs. Zombie! In this installment, Drac tells Zombie the woes of current vampire movies.

In loving memory of Steve Jobs.

(c) 2011, Retro-Cam Productions, all rights reserved

Augmented Reality Podcast #4 - "Augtoberfest" (10/01/11)

Augmented Reality Podcast #4 - "Augtoberfest" (10/01/11) by Augrealmag on Mixcloud

Welcome to episode 4 of the Augmented Reality Podcast. Join Ruben Rascon, Alicia Bracken, Mike Cervantes, Mike Quevedo, Alex Galindo, Cris Enriquez and PJ Moreno as they discuss upcoming events for the month of October, celebrating Augtoberfest, at Augmented Reality Online Magazine.

(c) 2011, Augmented Reality Online Magazine

I'm A Drac - Networking

We had discussed not uploading the rest of these due to the recent passing of Apple founder Steve Jobs. But, honestly, this is a sincere tribute to the man who brought us, at the very least, these commercials.

Here Drac and Zombie consider starting a network. Of course networking is easier for some than others.

Svartsot - Maledictus Eris

Being the season of all that is morbid, gory, and just plain awful I bring a treat! This is Alex and here I present to you a new installment of “Bands that Alex Likes on Ice in 3-D, the Halloween Version” today’s review will be on one of my most favorite bands Svartsot and their most recent CD “Maledictus Eris” that (in Europe) was released on July 29th, 2011. The third CD from Danish folk/death metal band Svartsot is a concept album about the Bubonic Plague arriving in Denmark in the 14th century and the death it left in its path. While the lyrical content sounds a little depressing/gory, musically it has surpassed the already high expectations I had hoped for it. This album was different from the first two albums “Mulmets Viser “(Darkness Shows) and “Ravenes Saga” which just made you want to go out and pillage some villages and drink while you were at it. “Maledictus Eris” has evolved Svartsot’s sound into something less pillage-y but still being true to the spirit of wanting to headbang along to the songs.

“Maledictus Eris” begins with a gloomy short intro: “Staden…”(City…) and goes in to the next track “Gud giv det varer ved!” (God give the goods in!) with full force…..and the force won’t stop, which is a good thing because you won‘t want it to. Blast beats, amazing guitar work, traditional folk, and a singer who has an unmistakable voice acoustics that just work so well together throughout this album. One of the tracks that blends this so well together would be track number four “Farsoten kom” (Plagues Came). Granted all of them sound great and each song has a different folk instrument that sticks out more than the rest. The only song in this whole album that isn’t brutal/heavy would be track number ten “Spigrene” (Spikes) is a sorrowful ballad of sorts telling the story of watching everything from the sidelines and feeling fear: The weight on a mans soul after locking people in their homes leaving them to die for fear of the spread of the disease.

The final track though “..Og Landet ligger sa ode hen” (..And the land is so desolate) is one of the greatest ending songs lyrically and musically. Seeing how a big part of the population is dead and seeing that only strength can keep who is left alive. The people look forward to the future that looms ahead.

While typing up synopsis on each of the songs would make this review easier to understand not to mention longer than it should be you will just have to hear for yourself. Only problem is I highly doubt you can get this CD at any record stores and might have to order it online from Europe which makes me a sad pillager. Below are some youtube links for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqOhnIXKv1E -“Spigrene”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U06zqOfEbPU - “Gud giv det varer ved!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhLsjFaF5ko -“Farsoten kom”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tS0yeluQf8 - “..Og Landet ligger sa ode hen”

Journey into Mystery #622-#628

Oh hey there little duckies Alex here and I will indulge you guys with a really good series that I particularly enjoyed. As many of you might hear from everyone (I am looking particularly at you Alicia) I am a big fan of Thor (my favorite Marvel character, everyone). And Journey into Mystery is a sort of continuation/tie in after Thor #621, so I decided why the hell not and began to read. Written by Kieron Gillen and amazing art by Dougie Braithwaite and Ulises Arreola, we start our review.

Back the fuck up! before we go into this any further you guys have to know a little about the past issues ; Loki sacrificed himself in order from keeping Asgard from being destroyed (by his own fault). After finding out about this, every Asgardian is relieved of this news except Thor. He misses his lil’ bro and decides to bring him back (Thor#616-617) Finds Loki’s reincarnated soul in the body of a street rat kid in France. Thor brings him back to Asgard to the dismay of the rest of the Aesir (Asgardians)

This part of the Thor saga continues after Thor#621. Now on to where Journey into Mystery begins issue #622 (and so far to issue #628), Loki is finding it hard to fit in with the rest of the Aesir with the whole “they think he is still super evil adult Loki”. With the exception of Thor who loves his brother. As I am sitting here listening to some Enslaved and reading Thor , I wonder to myself “Wow it can’t be any better than this” HOW WRONG I WAS it became so much better because of one reason

This magnificent bastard

Loki has been written to be mischievous but in the snaky/smartass/funny way. As the story progresses Journey into Mystery centers around Loki and how he tries to prove to Thor that he isn’t the same evil as fuck Loki as when he died. In one of these misadventures he speaks to an echo of his older self who tried to persuade kid Loki into being evil again where kid Loki was all “Get dat shit outta here”. For those who don‘t speak ugly it means he denounced his old evil ways. While reading these you see the shenanigans Loki gets into and begin to think he is back into his old self (“ANOTHER LIE I BET, DAMMIT LOKI” you will say).

When in turn Loki just throws a curveball at your face and you see he fixed like two things at the same time! “Loki what do you think you are doin- Oh DAYUM!” Was my reaction throughout most of these issues. Being a tie in for Fear Itself Loki finds out about the prophecy that “Thor will lose fighting against the Serpent” so Loki does what he does best…..He will try to stop that prophecy one way or another with a crazy plan. One of his insane ass plans has to do with tricking Mephisto and stopping a war between Hel and him just to distract them long enough to steal the shadow of Surtur’s sword?! What the shit?! Then he proceeds to steal the Destroyer armor and with a rag tag team consisting of Leah (consort to Hela), The Disir (Cursed undead soul eating Valkeryies) and the (also undead) god of war Tyr. Loki faces the Serpent head on and declares to “Come at me bro”

And that is it for the time being, this is the terribly condensed version of those issues and we just have to wait till later on this month for issue #629 of Journey into Mystery (which I can’t wait for) and if interested I can do a review for that issue too. As far as these issues go, I think they are a great story and it shows a more human sentimental side to Thor and Loki that has rarely been touched. So I would definitely recommend for Thor fans and regular readers alike.

I'm a Drac - Stomach Ache

This "Augtoberfest" we decided to do a spoof of those hilarious "I'm A Mac" commercials produced by Apple. That's never been done on the web before, right? RIGHT?!

Anyway, this is the first video given to us by our new collaborative team the "Damn Dirty Apes," with contributors Cris Enriquez (Drac), PJ Moreno (Zombie), and Alex Gallindo behind the wonderful makeup and costume effects for this video. you guys rock. Hope to see more!